Monday, December 29, 2008

Xeric

The melodies invade my psyche, trying to psyche me out of my pseudo ascension; assigning me to resign as head of this mind of mine, ruining the moment. This is how you wanted it. Rather I worshiped your phallic monument than giving me anything… evening brought his ending.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I told the truth today...

Misty: hey
Jerome: hey
Misty: Why didn't you hang with Elayna today?
Jerome: I have work to do
Misty: You were isolated
oh.
ha ha
I asked her to talk to Ieuan for me...
Jerome: im still working just taking a break
oh ok
Misty: and she was telling him that I like him soooooooo much.
Jerome: to tell him what?
Misty: WTF
No just to see if he liked me
Jerome: oh, y didnt u ask?
Misty: cuz I didn't have the balls to get my feelings hurt
Jerome: lol, so howd it turn out
Misty: bad.
3:10amJerome: too bad
3:10amMisty: He doesn't like me
3:10amJerome: whatd he say
3:10amMisty: she says
3:10amJerome: oh ok
well, sorry
3:10amMisty: that it was a mistakes
yeah yeah
I should go lez
3:11amJerome: lol, i doubt u could
3:11amMisty: maybe not. But the only people to think I'm attractive are gay men and females
3:11amJerome:eh, what can u do?
Im single now too
so no worries
3:12amMisty: yeah but you okay with it
3:12amJerome: ...not really
I am not used to not having people hit on me
it's a new phenomenom
3:13amMisty

gr
3:13amJerome

gr?
3:14amMisty

I'm kinna pissed but I expected this
3:15amJerome

well you seem to have good instincts so why dont u follow them?
3:16amMisty

cuz I'm not a cold person...yet
3:16amJerome

well thats good
3:17amMisty

Some just give up because they fail

I guess I'm not like that
3:17amJerome

thats good
3:17amMisty

which can be a strength or weakness
3:17amJerome

youre too young for my kind of cynascism
3:17amMisty

But I wanna be cold like you!!
3:17amJerome

it's not all it's cracked up to be

like when you say youre fst, but then elayna would kill to look like you

be grateul for what you have

my world is kinda lonely sometimes

fat*
3:19amMisty

But you don't seem to care!

That's the beauty
3:19amJerome

I do care...
3:20amMisty

er...
3:20amJerome

trust me when I say this

Stay hopeul as long as you can, I gave up my emotions years ago and I am better in many ways, but I would die to understand the emotions that I used to have again
3:22amMisty

What? Pain and having your feelings hurt all the time?

No way
3:22amJerome

yes
3:22amMisty

Emotions are a waste
3:22amJerome

emotions let you know youre alive
3:23amMisty

sooo?
3:24amJerome

whats the point in living if you cant feel alive
3:24amMisty

You won't have to cry or feel that yucky feeling in your chest...

or that pain when you;re trying to hild back tears
3:24amJerome

I cry everyday

I stare at the ceiling and cry for no reason

I blast my music so loud, so I dont have to hear myself thing

So I dont have to wake up and realize that my life is just a broadway show with great musical numbers that no one understands
3:26amMisty

not true
3:26amJerome

trust me, I have never been more honest in my life

It hurts to be so honest

I mean physically, my head is pounding
3:27amMisty

I'm sorry..
3:27amJerome

THis happens whenever I try to understand or deal with what I cant understand

Dont feel sorry for me, but dont envy me either
3:28amMisty

I didn't mean to bring up something so deep
3:29amJerome

not youre fault I can always stop, or not start

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I was the one. Yes, I was the one... Keyword is was, yes I was the one...
I wish YOU would not fall in love with every man who shows interest in you, it's pathetic. I am so tired of mending wounds that I tried to prevent in the first place.

Who Knew (A Poem)

I think it's strange that I can still relive everything about you
That at a moments notice I can be whisped away to memories of days when you still held me
When I could have never believed that in a few years you would go away

Who knew that you would disappear
Who knew I would watch as you slowly drove away for the last time

Sometimes when I am alone, I still mourn
For us, for me, for you
For what we could have been
For who I could have been with you
For what you have become without me

It is during those times that what separates us seems trivial
But I always get lost in pursuit
Of the one that got away
The only one I will ever want to have stayed

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Verdict: Innocent

I have decided to trust my rusty moral compass. Let the bodies fall where they may, I will leave them where they lay.

"L 'Via
Daughter Miranda
Your surname was changed

L 'Via
Without Eyes, I want to give
A story without my mother
I just want to tell you
The pain of night says
Only staying clothing
You wash the blood

L 'Via
Do not forget to relax
On the street you walk
Who you going to pursue

L 'Via
You want to kill
Machete teeth
Cabezas de gallo

L 'Via
Sleep in peace
Open your eyes
Everything will change

L 'Via

Dreamed of revenge
And I swear to you
We are going to pay
Blackmailed, she fell off every mountain
The ones they tightly wrapped in tape
In her eraser sang the guilty
As it made the best mistakes
And with every body that I find
And with every claymore that they mine
I will not forget who I'm looking for
Oh mother help me I'm looking for"

- The Mars Volta
L'Via L'Vasquez

You Silly Bitch

Guilty till proven Guilty

Today I told a friend the truth, and she cried. I felt bad and lied, and she smiled. Now I wonder if I should have left her to cry... Because the smile makes me feel worse. Knowing that in a matter of hour the cards will come tumbling, was worse than knowing she didn't know it was coming.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Music Discovery

As of late I have been in music discovery mode, I think I have added about 500+ new songs to my Library. I like this new mode I am finding myself in. In truth it is in part thanks to one of my new friends(?), William, he is strictly into old school rock, blues and jazz. It is weird that one of my most open minded periods comes via such a narrow person. So I will start off my recap of new music with a classic group... QUEEN. I got my hands on their whole discography and found out that I knew a few songs from them, mostly through adverts, and I actually like them. I have gotten a list together of my favorite songs by them, check it out.

(In No Particular Order)
I Want To Break Free
Another One Bites The Dust
Fat Bottom Girls
You're My Best Friend
Don't Stop Me Now
We Are The Champions
I Want It All
Who Wants To Live Forever
Headlong

And then there are the two that I have fallen in love with, and will now and as far as I can see have on my absolute favorites list.

We Will Rock You - This simple beat feeds my soul!
Under Pressure - Genius, definitely a top 20 of all timer.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving!!!

Aren't you glad you live in a country built on genocide, and slave labor?

No More Mr Nice Gay!

I have nothing to say about Proposition 8's passing, except that you can expect no more Mr. Nice Gay. I will not stand by and continue to use my wisdom to save the crumbling relationships of my heterosexual counterparts if they are going to turn around and rule that my relationship has no validity. I will not continue to smile and be the archetype stereotype of the person you expect me to be. I will frown and my rainbow glow brighter and I will fight back. Just know that this is war and it will be fierce!

Monday, November 17, 2008

I am so sorry I completely forgot to say... HE FUCKING WON!

Catsup

So I know I am a horrible person for not posting in the past few weeks but that doesn't bother me. Nobody reads this blog readily anyways, so what ever. But I will be back up with some new photos and poems as well as accounts of my past few weeks which have been interesting and fun to say the least so yeah ttyl, l8r dudes!

Friday, October 24, 2008

WAR!!!

My neighbor did this...



So I did this?



I refuse to let his voice be the only one heard! Remember if John McCain becomes president Sara Palin will be just one 72 year old's heart beat away from the most powerful position in the world!

VOTE NOVEMBER 4th
VOTE OBAMA/BIDEN!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Chasing Pavements

...I basically ran after a car yesterday hoping that they would stop and ask me to hang out... Let me explain. I was hanging out last night with some people that I met at my schools arcade. When they left I was had no reason to stay so I just check out and left. While I was walking back to my apt I saw said people walking to the car going to their apartment to veg for a bit. So for some reason I walked a little faster getting ahead of them, they hadn't pulled out yet, so they would notice me and possibly suggest I come with them. They didn't. I felt kinda odd about it, like am I that desperate for friends? Or am I just positioning myself like how commercials and press coverage position products for purchase. Not to suggest that I whoring myself out, that is for another post. It is just interesting to see the things that I do make people notice me, everything except actually introducing myself...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Blind Secret

I let someone get left on the side of the road alone at 12am on a Sunday night with no money and noway to get home... To write an apology would be disingenuous. As she should not have brought her ass out without any if those things, but it was just more vicious than I'm used to. I hate when things like that happen to people because I know that it could easily happen to me at any moment. I am always on the rim of the IN crowd teetering until a conflict forces me out or I find a way to weasel myself in.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Racism Is Not Dead... Sadly



By Hussein he is referring to Barack Hussein Obama... Seriously...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I am so dissapointed



That is the most butt ugly device I have ever been privy to in my 21yrs of life upon this moist planet. Please tell me some scorn ex-employee decided to get their revenge by allowing this to get out... please let that be the case. That thing looks like a turd the Game Gear shat out. And it is the size of a credit card? Why would I want to do anything on that, you do realize that the iPod Classic is much bigger than a credit card... PSP killer by buttocks! If this is what Sega is cooking up I hope that Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata, SCEA CEO Jack Tretton, Bill Gates AND Steve Jobs (the all iPods play games better than this would) are having a mighty big laugh while watching SEGA burn themselves to the ground, this is ridiculous.

Ok and while I am on this Razzy Rant, why doesn't Apple just by SEGA? They could make the DS/PSP killer and we all could live happily ever after!

One more thing... Why has Microsoft not come out with a portable yet? For that matter why has Sony refused to allow the PSP to be used as a controller for the PS3? If they did I would walk out of my house right now and plop down the egregious amount of money Sony wants for their sad attempt at innovation. PS3=We want you to buy BluRay... please. Kill me!

Conservatives are retards...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Birthday Report.

Detroit was a snowy place last Saturday, though it was the warmest night I'd seen. It was lonely I will admit but eventually I came to and was surrounded with costumed villains willing to serve my every passing false hedonistic need. For some reason there are invisible hands fondling me, and through this haze I can barely see. I can see enough to know that I better not touch the floor for fear I many never recover. I came here with somebody, I think.... What is this abhorrent taste trickling slowly lingering down my throat. Where is my shoe. This massive throbbing box is emmitting music that is sonically forcibly raping my ears, and I adore it. Black. Again with the fondling though the hands seem clearer. This is ending soon, I can tell as the music has slowed to a syrupy sultry crawl back to it's source. The well hath run dry and the gate keeps scream billow beckon and yell that the world is coming to an end, nobody seems to listen. The unlikely snow is falling once more as I head wildly north. The storm missed me somehow. As I find warmth is the soft known comforts the life has afforded, I understand and appreciate what is about to happen...

Monday, October 6, 2008

Downtown Ypsilanti

Here are some pics from my latest set.





Sunday, October 5, 2008

Quote

I have so much to say and no one to say it to, and you don't wanna listen?
-Erik Rhodes

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Quote

"How the fuck am i ever gonna meet new people if i don't throw myself out there? Then i think, if i do go out I'll just have to get so fucked up to handle being around people, that I'm not gonna meet anyone new if the first place cause I'll just be the fucked up porn star in the corner that people look at and point at and don't want anything to do with. Thanks but no thanks. The discomfort of being alone is much easier to manage than that."
-Erik Rhodes

WHOA!

This is so sickening! This is Grace Jones' newest single 'Corporate Cannibal' from her new album Hurricane out later this month.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Crash

My hands are frozen
Trying to string together two words, has never been as frigid as this
Something is amiss
My body feels like it been spoiled in piss
Like I’m a willing partner in an S&M flick

This is bullshit that I have to feel this way
This is bullshit that she always does this to me
I thought the flame was smothered
The embers lay emboldened
Emblazoned and brazen waiting for a spark

What it got was a match
Though a time bomb it was not
Every word still hurt
Every work unspoken leaves our relation tattered and broken
And frayed and dismayed in ways repairs could take days

Weeks, months, years this continues
I think I’m going to need the wine menu
‘Cause this ain’t it
It’s not getting it
It’s not working

I’m hungry for a revolution
A resolution a grievances
‘Cause my resolve is waning
And my endurance is tanking

And I got to deal
With this raw deal I’ve been dealt
I can’t keep waiting for the for the googolplex clock to stop
I can’t keep wait for the second ball to drop

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

700 BILLION DOLLAR BAILOUT!?

I hate the idea of this plan so much. It is just another break for the fat cats who screw the little people into the ground and when there is no more left, they want the government to give them more. Sure after this is all said and done things will get better but somebody will find a loop hole or a way to bribe this latest oversight committee and we will be right back here, only worse. In 20yrs we will be right back here and I put my life on this, we will loose everything. We are heading the way of monarchy with a greedy king... I actually am tearing up right now. To see the country that I have loved so much continue to shoot poison into its veins and push away everyone that loves it, but sometimes people have to hit dead bottom to realize that they are dead wrong.

I was on Yahoo! Finance reading the comments left about what was going on and I came across this one from Kent S and thought that I should share he writes:

How "WILD" is this ?? If you really want to help the American Public hold on to their houses?? Let's Try This. 1. Create a 700 Billion Dollar Credit line ...and GIVE IT A PORTION OF IF TO THE PEOPLE .."DIRECTLY" who got dumped out of their homes already. They followed the pied-pipers in the Disaster, trying to provide shelter for themselves and their families. Maybe a few dollars could get them back on their feet ? 2. Set up a relief fund for those who are about to get foreclosed on with the a portion of this 700 billion dollar bailout as well so they don't become future victims 3. Finally with the remaining balance set up a Legal Fund to sue the numerous individuals who created this irresponsible mess. But IF they are still employed in relation to the mortgage or housing industry.. FIRE THEM ! ... Why does this seem do-able? Well if the tax payers are going to pay for it.. at least let them get something for it. Maybe instead of bailing out these financial buffoons, they should have to feel and experience what they have done to the economy and our American Citizens.


FYI I did edit the grammar some of it was atrocious, but he's got my vote.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Unitentionaly Hilarious

So I surfing the web today and found this ad from Pioneer Electronics... Classic. No the ad has not been altered, I only blocked out personal info. Can you please explain to me how this got past that initial pitch meeting. Who pitched this slogan? I mean seriously!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

More Home Movies

Ok so there is something you may not know about me and my friends... We love silly string. Mainly because it can be used at any random moment by any of us and it would be a instant fun moment. And you know how much we love haberdashery, shenanigans and general tomfoolery.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

In case you were wondering...

My camera is still broken, I was supposed to get it fixed again but there is so much stuff going on with that *sigh* So to supplement I will be giving you guys pics from all over the web to help with you visual fix... COMING SOON! lol, I hate that when movies say COMING SOON, like soon is a time that we can put on a calendar, don't advertise till you have a release date duh!

Monday, September 15, 2008

Home Videos

This is a video from A few months back. Aaron, Scooby and I stopped at IHOP because of Scoob's famously small bladder and low and behold who do we see but Brenda! Ah such randomness enjoy.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Guy

Is it wrong for me to love his eyes

To wish I was the dust that swirls through the air at the bat of his lashes

To want to be that bead of sweat the the sun spotlights as it unsteadily crawls down the back of his neck

I don't thin that anyone but me could look at him and see the poetry the way I do

I wonder what is hiding beneath that hat that always seems to be glued to  his dark brown raven's nest of hair

I sit as far from him as possible but as close as I can and in my mind I smell his skin and can see the every willow wisp of hair that breaks his perfectly tanned skin.

Did I mention that he smells like orange blossoms but taste sweet and bitter like a honey suckle spray

I wish I was those stings of denim holding close the his old scarred knee...

I wonder, and wonder and wish as he walks, he walks away from me

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Refer Madness (2005)

Ok so on the hierarchy of musicals I'm sure that Reefer Madness is waaay low on the totem pole. But for me it falls at Number 3. I mean it totally helps that it focuses on sex, drugs, liquor, sex, rock and roll, and sex... I love the music in this movie and actually is one of the few musicals I keep on my generic fruity digital music player. My favorite is "C'mon Jimmy/Reefer Love"



Ok I admit it that Jimmy is a little hottie so that totally is a plus. Ok so the next favorite is actually called "The Stuff" the woman who is singing is from SNL, she was also the mother on "Mean Girls". She is hilarious in this movie just like in everything. I don't know what her name is and although I could totally just type in mean girls into this search bar in the same browser I'm typing in... you know what's so bad is that as I typed that last sentence I glanced into the search bar and reefer madness is still there from my search earlier... You know now I'm just willfully not looking. Here's the clip...



Ok so I have one last clip for you. It's called "Listen to Jesus Jimmy"... yeah, I know. Just take a look.



All I have to say is I GOT A NEW GOD NOW!!!

The best video EVER!!!

I found this video on a blog I read, well view. It's called Prince Kai any ways this video is fucking hilarious!

Monday, September 8, 2008

MUSICALS!!!

Ok like any self respecting fag I LOVE MUSICALS, ugh! Show tunes!!! Anyways... wow can you just hear the lisp is that, so gay... eh oh well. So here is working list of Favorite MUSICALS!!!

Chicago (2002)
The Wiz (1978)

OMG... Nuff said. Seriously this movie is amazing. Everytime I watch it I razzle my dazzle off, ok that was bad but you know... lol. Below is my favorite scene it's the biggest number Cell Block Tango.



How spicy was that?! Ok now this movie is so very trampy vampy camp and deliciously murderous. And who doesn't love all of that?

Ok so next is a film that is almost forgotten. I guarantee that if it was done with white actors it would have a had a much longer staying power. The Wizard of Oz did, so why didn't The WIZ? It's awesome it's so funky flashy and fun. Now I admit that the movie version lacks much of the flare that the Broadway production has in Aces, but what can you do? Below is a clip that somebody put together of some of the highlights of The WIZ.



And for now this is where I leave it. I have lots of other favorites but for right now I need to determine proper order and secure clips so enjoy for now.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Jay's Journal September 6, 2008.

Everybody has something that they fell insecure about. Everyone. Most people would not ever admit that they even sometimes feel ashamed of something about themselves... I am not most people. For me it's my weight. 99% of the time I don't even recognize my weight because it's such a non-issue. Like me being black, gay, or having a crippling phobia of spiders. However there time like last week when I had sat on the floor in the hallway of my next class, and when it was time to get up I knew in my head that my knees where no feeling well that day. I knew that it meant that I would have slightly more difficult time getting up than normal. I had a knee injury in the 9th grade that has just fucked my knees for life. Me being morbidly obese of course didn't help in the healing process. Everybody I know, knows about my injury so when I am around them and I need to have a seat it's again a non-issue, but when I am alone and in the company of people who only see my big fat ass struggling to get up I do feel really insecure. I get embarrassed. During this particular indecent I even sat there looking like a blob and waited to the hallway was clear so that I could get up and wince and struggle in private. I know that I must've looked like a idiot sitting there curled withing myself waiting for my great escape. But I have pride and in a place where I don't really know anyone it is just not in me to let myself be vulnerable. I know that not everyone out to get me but... I don't know. By the way I do not mean to be sounding down on myself as International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day is April 15th so we'll wait until then...

Sunday, August 31, 2008

I'm here...

Yeah I'm so tired! But I am all moved in... However I forgot to bring my CLOTHES AND TV!!! I'm so bored, I actually had to get dressed and leave me apartment to ,ix with each other this is ridiculous. *sigh* this school year is getting off to a AWESOME start, lol.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Friday, August 29, 2008

Soon...

In a matter of hours I'll be moving back to Ypsilanti. It has been interesting to say the least to set this up but luckily a friend of mine was able to help me out. So everything really is set. I'm all packed up, got my move in appointment... Let us see how this goes. I'll update once I am moved in.

L8r

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

1 Day...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams



Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is Solange Knowles' sophomore album released August 26, 2008. It is a wide departure from her horrible debut ironically (though she didn't seem to know) titled debut Solo Star. As you can see she really likes her name. To put it plainly Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is a rare album in today's music space. It is an album that actually shows depth and growth from a singer that once was a shallow and pointless act to a artist that has experienced somethings in their life and has somethings to say not related to "love" but Love and Life.

The first single from the album "I decided" is a hot tune in the vein of 60's and 70's Popular R&B Soul and Funk. I was very surprised that she had made it, because I had written her off as a wanna be like Brooke Hogan. I was even more surprised that the whole of the album carries that same sound, I was sure that it was a fluke... it wasn't. Now I just got the album and on first listen it is a very solid album. I'm not wowed but it is a first listen and I'm getting used to the sound of it, besides the sound from my laptop's speakers are just garbage so I may be wowed when I can pump it up on my trusty stereo. I will say that I enjoy the fact that she chose to forgo the use of electronic instruments but instead used real instruments for the beats. To get the sound she was going after she Solange worked with producers such as Pharell Williams, Raphael Saadiq, and Mark Ronson and also working with Boards of Canada, Jack Splash, Bama Boyz, Shea Taylor, Marsha Ambrosius of Floetry.



I will also say that I do like the fact that she is portraying the image of the album in everything she has done as of late. In very Madonna style she is keeping the image together every image that you I have seen of her since the launch of the first single has been very put together very period specific and very much a quality representation of the sound and style of music. Mathew Knowles clearly knows what he is doing. Solange may in fact end up being a "Solo Star" after all.

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

3 Days...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Untitled Razzy Rant

I hate the JONAS BROTHERS. Ok I get it every generation needs their vaguely talented music acts that they then can idolize and wax poetic about into their last days while complaining that today's music is just not as good as when you where a kid. but serious why them, they sound like they are going through puberty on stage. Then they come with that whole virginal routine which is so tired. I will say that before they became uber popular their sound was funkier and I liked it. It had more soul as they are partly Latino. This new shit is pop garbage. I think I just don't like the Disney kids. Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana, Corbin Bleu, Cheetah Girls they are all products and will have a expiration date, unless they eventually become good artist in their own right. There are exceptions to this like Hilary Duff, Ashley Tisdale has one song I like, even the brothers Jonas have that song Year 3003 that is on my iPod right not so. I just wish that adults did not care so much about these 12yr old celebrities.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Another night.

So it is the middle of the night again and I am up so very up. It is 5am and I am so bored. I have resorted to watching home movies. Which is actually not so bad but it holds a peculiar feeling to wax reminiscent of this that has only passed like 8 months ago as I have only had my camera for about that long. I'm remembering things that I had so forgotten. I guess it's good to see things in full color video, well in my case most things are in black and white that I shoot. One day when I'm like 40 and me and my remaining friends will sit down and watch these videos and laugh. We could probably do that now. This one I'm watching now if from when I moved back home from school for the summer in April. It is this loooooong video recording a conversation I had with a bunch of my friends in the moving van I rented. It's like 30 min of random pointless conversation, but looking back at it it seems to be of more importance. Do you feel like that sometimes, looking back? That things are much more significance once time has passed. I wonder why it becomes easier be fond over things that aren't here anymore. Why does time erode our normal jaded sensibilities and makes all dough eyed over waves of light that represent the thing that me actually miss. I'm not sure which cliche goes best with this sensational phenomenon; "hindsight is 50/50", "time always makes the heart grow fonder", "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" (Thank you Joni Mitchel and later Janet Jackson and even later The Counting Crows featuring Vanessa Carlton). Either way they always seem to fit somewhere. Guess all those adages seem to make sense in, ehm... hindsight.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tiana

I know that you that I know you know better
But he calls you and asks you to come over
Brash and unrestricted
Like he never abandoned you
Like that woman wasn’t his before he wasn’t yours
And you smile
Bat the lashes
Reply back
And think again that this time will better
I know that you that I know that this time won’t be better
But you can’t help that your past keeps invading your present
And he won’t leave or remove himself from your presence
Without care the winds bring him back
And you consider taking him back
But like the breeze very soon he up and leaves
You find that he’s not only stolen your heart
but also your sleeve
And that leaves you naked and wanting
And waiting for him
But the forecast is grim
Only for you
There’s sunshine for him.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Randy

I don’t know why I even bother
I know that for me 11 years of servicing him is more
I call
And I know that even if he calls me back
I’ll be some foreign after thought
Some 3am wind down after the club
Or some midnight pre club ramp up
He always smells of cheap liquor and cigarette smoke either way so I never know
I’m not an idiot
And I know that I like it
But I feel guilty when he’s gone
And the only gift he left was his semen dancing in my stomach
Or the random pubic hair that got caught in between my teeth
Or the cooler smother section of my face where his ejaculated used to be
I know it’s sad but those thing fulfill me
So I call him
Knowing that to him, I am just another hole
That I’m just another mouth feed
That I’m just another one of the ones on the list
The never ending list of the bodies left cold in the trail
I wonder if he ever gets annoyed that this zombie just won’t die

Friday, July 18, 2008

HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA back young people!

How many times can I say it icka bicka ba boosha! I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back.

OMG I finally got it back! It works perfectly though just like if you replace your engine or transmission on a car it never works quite the same. There is some lag with the shutter but I will have to use it for a bit to see if it in fact needs to go back to SONY... again hopefully not. I will be giving you guys or rather person new shots asap.

Smooches
Jay

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Adele - 19 (2008)

Those of you who know me know that right now Adele is the truth. She hails form London, UK as she likes to say. I found her on VH1's you oughta know series about five months ago and every since I have not stopped listening. Her voice is so pure it's frightening. She is one of the only acts that I have seen in many years that sounds better live than recorded (save Natasha Beddingfield). I should also add that all of her recorded tracks are recorded in one pass. She does not have backing tracks or studio aided vocals, so what you get is what is real and what you can expect if your shelling out 30 bucks for a ticket to a live performance. I should also add that she writes all her own stuff and plays the guitar among with other instruments that accompany her vocal talents.Adele's debut album 19 is genius. I had originally downloaded the album through limewire with the intention on buying it if the album was as good as the lead single "Chasing Pavements", which is phenomenal, this song even pour from the dreary 4th rate speakers that are built into my television. It has very little by way of instrumentation but as you may have inferred by now Adele's voice needs no help to make a great song. As far as the rest of the album let's just say that out of the 17 tracks on the 2 disc special edition 14 are rated at 4 or more stars in my iTunes library and have a combined total of 987 plays, 240 of which are just "Chasing Pavements" making it easily my number one played and highest rated song since I have started keeping track in 2005 and probably second all time next to Garbage's "The World is not Enough". Which I listened to on repeat for 9 days straight back in my Junior year in high school.

The most stand out tracks on the album are (in order) "Chasing Pavements", "Right as Rain", "Melt my Heart to Stone", "My Same" and "Best for Last". I purposefully neglected to add "Cold Shoulder" to this list because though I love it I dont know if it has staying power just yet, but we shall see.

Chasing Pavements


Right as Rain



I sincerely encourage you to visit YouTube and check out some her live performances and also you can hear her whole album on various videos. I have included a link to a few of my favorties please take a moment, listen, and discover the future of music... Adele Adkins

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Finally

Sony has shipped out my camera back to me! Only a matter of time now!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

An Update

I talked with Sony today and they are JUST NOW FIXING my camera, I believe they will be giving me a different camera/model, so you know what that means... I will have to play with it so that means lots of new fotos!!! Yay well anyways, I have be so creatively strapped as thing have been going well for me and I don't write when I'm happy, plus my camera has been in the hospital and I still haven't found a way to scan my paintings, which i also have stopped doing, into the computer. Also when i do get back in the groove of things I will be changing the frequency with which I update, daily is just too often but weekly is just too distant so maybe everyother day, we will see.

Jay

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

Tragedy

My camera is dead. That is so dramatic lol, but in all seriousness it died and is out for repair or (gasp) replacement... I will know in a week or so and will keep you guys updated or rather guy cause there is only like 1 reader but that one person is AWESOME!!! I will find some poetry to put in the mean time ttyl.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Crash

My hands are frozen

Trying to string together two words, has never been as frigid as this

Something is amiss

My body feels like it been spoiled in piss

Like I’m a willing partner in an S&M flick

This is bullshit that I have to feel this way

This is bullshit that she always does this to me

I thought the flame was smothered

The embers lay emboldened

Emblazoned and brazen waiting for a spark

What it got was a match

Though a time bomb it was not

Every word still hurt

Every work unspoken leaves our relation tattered and broken

And frayed and dismayed in ways repairs could take days

Weeks, months, years this continues

I think I’m going to need the wine menu

‘Cause this ain’t it

It’s not getting it

It’s not working

I’m hungry for a revolution

A resolution a grievances

‘Cause my resolve is waning

And my endurance is tanking

And I got to deal

With this raw deal I’ve been dealt

I can’t keep waiting for the for the googolplex clock to stop

I can’t keep wait for the second ball to drop

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Rapture.

Why would such a woman exist?

Why would such a merciful god place blame and curse for blasphemies not yet relieved from my skin?

I do not believe that such a man would create such a woman

I do not believe that a man would set a series of situations solely meant to siphon the sensibility that he has so sanctimoniously sanctioned upon thee

I know that I am right; even if I am wrong I am right

There is no man above sightseeing in the clouds

Crying tear to create floods

Clapping jovially to move mountains

Striking in anger at what his own hands have created

I do not know…

Better yet I don’t want…

I need to know why such a woman would breathe

Why such a woman would have the ovarian fortitude as to impose such regulations that regular people can not see through the red tape

Why won’t she let me in?

How the did the imaginary man?

Where did this journey begin?

Where did I lose her?

Who cut the cables?

Why are we not able to see past the prior inquisitions to see to a less tumultuous future.

To see to a movement,

Cooperation

Restitution

The imaginary man gave us lips to speak but we not use them but for treachery

He gave us hearts but not to use them, rather keep them empty to filter the fantasies and poison seeds

Rival memories of black books

Murderous penguins

Lifeless angels.

I can say that I hope for the best but that would be a lie

It’s not right for the night imaginary inflammatory impostor to take credit for the beginning of this being if he not willing to take the solder of his own smoldering brimstone.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

On How It Is

I spend most of my time wishing she would speak to me, and the remainder of the time wishing she hadn’t and gluing back together the piece broken by what she has said.

Regardless of this immeasurable pain shot from the finger blade of my ironic angel I can’t help but be relieved by her presence.

Shallow and transparent ever present villainy permeates and eventually will permanently perverse my prominent personality, rhyme and reason.

Who will I be then? How much time will I spend? How much more glue is there to mend. How many more truths, this is truth No.2

I don’t have the words to say No.1. I don’t want to tell you, even though I know you want to know.

It seems that this is good for me, or so these eclipsing chariots scream so. At least these walls want to keep me safe and warm… I’m not so certain about sane.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The FRIGGIN' AMAZING SKY

Lately I have been noticing how amazingly brilliant and epic the sky has been lately, so of course I caught the sights on digits... by the way all my shots are digital so obviously these sights are not on film, lol. Enjoy!





Monday, June 16, 2008

You write people’s obituaries while they are still alive?

I sang with a tear in my eye, for the first love of my life is about to die.

I sang of a Sunday mourn

I sang of an afternoon wake

I sang of the first dusk without her

I sang of the memories

I sang of joy…

Now…

I sing with tears pouring, for the love of my life has just died

I sing because, my love, it is time to say goodbye.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Untitled 1

I want to make up my mind on which way to go.

If I should do what I think is write or should I write all that I think is wrong.

Going in circle my thoughts are a circus.

Univer-souly my life as a whole is on the rocks.

Like Disarono after the clock strikes at midnight.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

PRUDENCE

It’s not fair!
You can’t put the weight on me
And tell me not to speak

You can’t involve me
Then expect me to veneer a child like resolve.
It’s too late
You can’t want me to do for you
And you not listen to me

Way you see it picking you is my new dirty job
I can’t even retort in debate
Or change the pace when were both running late
But I can lift you to your feet
And I can confront the aunt who falsely quit the need of a needle
And the want of a nail

WHAT THE HELL?

Nail me to cross if you feel I’m no longer absolved
But don’t get me involved
If my work won’t help to solve
The dilemma of all involved