Saturday, May 10, 2008

55 pt5

On love, in sadness, in love… a brittle madness


I squeeze my last taste of life from his lips and pour it into a glass. I sipped it slow to make it last. Away the winds carried him in a silk thunder alone. I sat alone cradling the glass careful not to let a single drop drip. I had already shared too much of the man that I love with the grounds that are completely in different about his existence.


A full orbital revolution around the light I set eyes upon my bull, again. There he lay on the sand and it cuddled him. The water and sky put on a show meant only for his eyes. My eyes followed the sharp lines of my sand covered god. The air was light and had a familiar taste. With an upward tilt of his head he sent lightning through my soul. His smile reverberated through the very bones of humanity and for a moment… what I was feeling was shared by every human on earth. His eyes smiled as they noticed me.

We lay on the beach with the golden sun playing the soundtrack to our passions. We stayed that way from the dawn of night and the dusk of day. The waves became my alarm clock; I sprung to life and was greeted by his eyes staring into mine… his hands playing a symphony on my skin. I whispered in his ear and told him the circumstances under which this second meeting was arranged. I told him of the chains that kept us apart for so long and he smiled wider. His smile calmed my fear and strengthened me. I love him and he loves me. He bounces to his feet and begins to jump and dance fancy free. How it was that I went my whole life without noticing this man I cannot possibly understand. He is everything I want. I jump up and join with him to bask in the essence of life. Free. Running and playing and jumping and rolling like children, but better.

Friday, May 9, 2008

55 pt4


“I am not afraid”

On the beach we exist. In nirvana is where we live.

Starring into the sky in silence.

His heart beat like a loud alarm piercing through the sanctuary of dream.

I dream of him. I breathe of him. I exist only of him.

I am not afraid. Exorbitant strength he epitomizes. How could fear dare find me? I kill any fear that comes looking for me. How dare they!

I'm not afraid to be your lady
I'm not afraid to be your whore
I'm not afraid to be your future
I'm not afraid to be your soil
In which you plant your seed
Flowers, they sprout for me
My fragrance in the breeze
You must nurture me please
I'm not afraid to be your baby
I'm not afraid to be your strength
I'm not afraid to be open wide
I'm not afraid to be glutinous
The essence of glue
I will stick to you
Through earthquakes and moods
If ever one thing was true
I'm not afraid to wind it, wind it
I'm not afraid to keep your pace
I'm not afraid to create my queendom
I'm not afraid to take my place
I'm not afraid

jill scott


"We have to escape."

Appiration. Steam sliding down throat. Ice slipping down my spine. Girating, vibrating stimulation. Instant bliss.

Ribbons of fire red, royal lavender, overly ecstatic yellow and heavenly white played on our hearts a mellow melody of a blue day filled with the reddest of red… molten crimson hot lust.

The clock upon the tower cried for us as it burned away our last hours. Into space we went to escape the consequences of the changing date.

We have to escape. Get away from this. Find some place new. Too much.

I’ll go anywhere. Just lead the way. Just go. Damn you fear. Damn you circumstance. Damn you life.

This just isn’t right. This isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

We ran. We ran away. God speed beneath us.

We could be living how we wanted to
Instead of doing things we're forced to do
With no one to tell us that we should be going through What they went through
There has to be some place that nobody knows, Somewhere we can only go
There has to be some place that we can be all alone....”

- Hoobastank

“Escape” (2003)

Thursday, May 8, 2008

55 pt3


I fell in love with a boy.

I fell in love with a boy. His name is Perfection.

I was walking around the coast on holiday on the golden isle. He was there and I was… infatuated. Completely entranced in his every being. His skin was sun kissed and I kissed his lips. His eyes glistened in the shadows of his stone features. A coffee colored lake of life made boundless by youth.

He is beauty.

His voice was strong and comforting as he whispered to my soul the words that allowed my inhibitions to let go. I was free just by him wishing it so. Love I never felt I now felt for him.

His touch was silk. Warm and smooth like caramel left in the summer sun. I knew that I didn’t know him but I wanted him so bad.

Who are you to be this perfect for me? I feel like… I dunno. But it’s unfathomably fantastic.

It’s not like I have been waiting around for someone to come and save me from my evil step mother but it happened and I’m not going to try and change it. The kaleidoscope of emotions that I am experiencing from this chain of events is amazing.

What day is this? I have lost track. I haven’t seen a clock or calendar in days. It somehow seems much less dire to keep track of those things when I can look to my left and the plan for the rest of my life lies in the eyes this man. This man perfection.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

55 pt2

My heartbeat is racing, at the sense of you

How lucky I am to have you

Holding my hand

Just lucky because you’re my man

Your smile has got me all weak in the knees

From whatever it is you do

But I don’t want you to stop

You’re making me feel like I should

Giving me the best of your soul

Every time you walkout that door

I’m impatiently awaiting return

I will always want more

Your love inspires me

To be the grandest I can be

Don’t you see?

You are all I’ll ever need

That first night when we talked

I was floating on your every word

Bending over every “B”

Leaning on every “L”

Grasping to every “G”

Hoping you’d hurry and grasp on to me

You don’t know I’m under your spell

From what you can tell

My interest is elsewhere

But I’m telling you

I’m focused only on you

You had me at hello

You’re my angel

I love you

How do you do this to me?

What do you do to me?

How do you keep me on cloud nine all the time?

Baby whatever you need, I got you

Just keep on doing those things you do

And I promise you

You don’t even have to work

Just keep making me jerk

Just keep making me yearn for more minutes in a day

Let us stay this way

… Look at me, All lusty in love

Thanking anyone who sits above

I’m almost delirious

Just think about you

What would I ever do without you?

You are what matters in my life

To not have just wouldn’t be right

I would not loose you without a fight

I’m blushing aren’t I?

What can you expect?

You’ve got me lifted

You’ve got me twisted

Why are you so good to me?

What did I do?

What good deed let karma choose me?

Caring for me

Holding me

Reviving me


Satisfying me

You got me.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

55 pt1

This post is a looooong one. It is a epic poem that is grouped together through poems of my own and song lyrics. This one is really important to me, its based in truth and there is a actual story behind it. I am going to post each piece separately because it is so long.

Running, running

As fast as we can

Do you think we’ll make it?

Unsure, unsure

Of where we are running to

Do you think we’ll make it?

Running, running

As fast as we can

Do you think we’ll make it?

Scared, scared

Of what is to come

Do you think we’ll make it?

Destination, destination

Coming up real soon

Do you think we’ll make it?

I’m so glad we made it



Day Break.

Movement without purpose. Sight without meaning. Alone. Sun sings. Grass dances. Air exists. The heat on the horizon obscures my view, as I sang my way ever closer to my unintended destination. I feel like I am in the eyes of Ivan. So much going on around me. Too fast. If I showed you a rose and a red and green blur which would you identify as a rose. Poor fools scurrying to their unwanted destinations. Pity… sadness. The feeling of cold creaminess sop up those inadequate emotions.

Immediate bliss. Life pauses. Life pauses for no one!? Life pauses for him. Nature took notice to a sight meant for me. The skies where alive with passion and they screamed his name. The winds gave me a bottle of his sent. So masculine. I was in love. The sun let me borrow his silhouette, so that I may set my affections in their proper place. So strong. Adonis... Maybe? His body besieged my eyes as he walked near. I smiled to implore for a moment of his time. He smiled just to smile. Perfection… Maybe.

Flirtation, meaningful conversation. In his words I could have found the meaning of life if I had given it old college try… but my… desires where a bit less. Soon words could not express the passion in our hearts and pushed aside for a time of ardor. Perfection… Maybe?

It was dinner he was my bull I his lamb. It was a race I Ernhardt he Andretti. Perfection… Maybe?

It was love. I was in love. He was in love. I was in love with him. He was in love with me. We love each other. I was in love with him, he was in love with me, we love each other. Iwasinlovewithhimhewasinlovewithmeweloveeachother.

He was my muse. Songs about him. I know I don’t know you, but I want you so bad.

Yes… He is Perfection

Monday, May 5, 2008

I can’t believe this fuck head gave me “C”

I cried today

Inside and out I died

But I was already dead

To die twice and never live once now that is truly hell

I tried today

I tried and failed miserably

I never had a chance to begin with

To try when the game is already lost that is truly sad

I got mad today

I was mad and sad

But I have no emotions to show

To be mad and sad and have nothing to show that is a whole truth

I was nothing today

I was nothing yesterday

I will be nothing tomorrow

Cause today, just as yesterday is nothing, no reason to be

Sunday, May 4, 2008

A little dead around the eyes works.

I looked in the mirror

I smiled

I cried

I pouted

I gave my best expression of life

But I couldn’t even impress myself

There was nothing behind it

No soul


I stood there like a stone

Grey and cold