200 Words of Opposition

You where my eyes fixed point center of gravity orbiting and swirling down the vacuous drain to places he would drag you away from me slowly running away walking backwards tripping forwards and steady farther away closer but never closer closure nuance and ineptitude narrowly negotiation newly sour section of dowry and damnations defending the circular serendipitous nature sensibly guided forward steadily backward rag dolls toads and frogs rabbits and hares heads or tail without chance change challenge or chapters fade mixed marital law logs loved layered and lowered one here two now three here four gone here sad gone long mourning this morning eve of evening dining with dingy dives cannons and capitols of coercion ending all stock and dystopian utopian pairs of solidarity and despair dispelling procreations problem creations motivations mulling nations moving more over the delicate suspensions suspend supposedly in memoriam never minding the offending natural movements of the shadowy figures moving forward the peaces disturbing the pieces in places their arms dare only reach randomly to destroy decimate and decapitate the fluid stagnancy unaltered aborted as times where before the hiccup stickup power play nay say now and never ever forever and always today’s forgotten lore.

Who Knew (A Poem)

I think it's strange that I can still relive everything about you
That at a moments notice I can be whisped away to memories of days when you still held me
When I could have never believed that in a few years you would go away

Who knew that you would disappear
Who knew I would watch as you slowly drove away for the last time

Sometimes when I am alone, I still mourn
For us, for me, for you
For what we could have been
For who I could have been with you
For what you have become without me

It is during those times that what separates us seems trivial
But I always get lost in pursuit
Of the one that got away
The only one I will ever want to have stayed

Blind Secret

I let someone get left on the side of the road alone at 12am on a Sunday night with no money and noway to get home... To write an apology would be disingenuous. As she should not have brought her ass out without any if those things, but it was just more vicious than I'm used to. I hate when things like that happen to people because I know that it could easily happen to me at any moment. I am always on the rim of the IN crowd teetering until a conflict forces me out or I find a way to weasel myself in.

Night Life (photograpy)

Crash

My hands are frozen
Trying to string together two words, has never been as frigid as this
Something is amiss
My body feels like it been spoiled in piss
Like I’m a willing partner in an S&M flick

This is bullshit that I have to feel this way
This is bullshit that she always does this to me
I thought the flame was smothered
The embers lay emboldened
Emblazoned and brazen waiting for a spark

What it got was a match
Though a time bomb it was not
Every word still hurt
Every work unspoken leaves our relation tattered and broken
And frayed and dismayed in ways repairs could take days

Weeks, months, years this continues
I think I’m going to need the wine menu
‘Cause this ain’t it
It’s not getting it
It’s not working

I’m hungry for a revolution
A resolution a grievances
‘Cause my resolve is waning
And my endurance is tanking

And I got to deal
With this raw deal I’ve been dealt
I can’t keep waiting for the for the googolplex clock to stop
I can’t keep wait for the second ball to drop

Another night.

So it is the middle of the night again and I am up so very up. It is 5am and I am so bored. I have resorted to watching home movies. Which is actually not so bad but it holds a peculiar feeling to wax reminiscent of this that has only passed like 8 months ago as I have only had my camera for about that long. I'm remembering things that I had so forgotten. I guess it's good to see things in full color video, well in my case most things are in black and white that I shoot. One day when I'm like 40 and me and my remaining friends will sit down and watch these videos and laugh. We could probably do that now. This one I'm watching now if from when I moved back home from school for the summer in April. It is this loooooong video recording a conversation I had with a bunch of my friends in the moving van I rented. It's like 30 min of random pointless conversation, but looking back at it it seems to be of more importance. Do you feel like that sometimes, looking back? That things are much more significance once time has passed. I wonder why it becomes easier be fond over things that aren't here anymore. Why does time erode our normal jaded sensibilities and makes all dough eyed over waves of light that represent the thing that me actually miss. I'm not sure which cliche goes best with this sensational phenomenon; "hindsight is 50/50", "time always makes the heart grow fonder", "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" (Thank you Joni Mitchel and later Janet Jackson and even later The Counting Crows featuring Vanessa Carlton). Either way they always seem to fit somewhere. Guess all those adages seem to make sense in, ehm... hindsight.

Crash

My hands are frozen

Trying to string together two words, has never been as frigid as this

Something is amiss

My body feels like it been spoiled in piss

Like I’m a willing partner in an S&M flick

This is bullshit that I have to feel this way

This is bullshit that she always does this to me

I thought the flame was smothered

The embers lay emboldened

Emblazoned and brazen waiting for a spark

What it got was a match

Though a time bomb it was not

Every word still hurt

Every work unspoken leaves our relation tattered and broken

And frayed and dismayed in ways repairs could take days

Weeks, months, years this continues

I think I’m going to need the wine menu

‘Cause this ain’t it

It’s not getting it

It’s not working

I’m hungry for a revolution

A resolution a grievances

‘Cause my resolve is waning

And my endurance is tanking

And I got to deal

With this raw deal I’ve been dealt

I can’t keep waiting for the for the googolplex clock to stop

I can’t keep wait for the second ball to drop

Rapture.

Why would such a woman exist?

Why would such a merciful god place blame and curse for blasphemies not yet relieved from my skin?

I do not believe that such a man would create such a woman

I do not believe that a man would set a series of situations solely meant to siphon the sensibility that he has so sanctimoniously sanctioned upon thee

I know that I am right; even if I am wrong I am right

There is no man above sightseeing in the clouds

Crying tear to create floods

Clapping jovially to move mountains

Striking in anger at what his own hands have created

I do not know…

Better yet I don’t want…

I need to know why such a woman would breathe

Why such a woman would have the ovarian fortitude as to impose such regulations that regular people can not see through the red tape

Why won’t she let me in?

How the did the imaginary man?

Where did this journey begin?

Where did I lose her?

Who cut the cables?

Why are we not able to see past the prior inquisitions to see to a less tumultuous future.

To see to a movement,

Cooperation

Restitution

The imaginary man gave us lips to speak but we not use them but for treachery

He gave us hearts but not to use them, rather keep them empty to filter the fantasies and poison seeds

Rival memories of black books

Murderous penguins

Lifeless angels.

I can say that I hope for the best but that would be a lie

It’s not right for the night imaginary inflammatory impostor to take credit for the beginning of this being if he not willing to take the solder of his own smoldering brimstone.

On How It Is

I spend most of my time wishing she would speak to me, and the remainder of the time wishing she hadn’t and gluing back together the piece broken by what she has said.

Regardless of this immeasurable pain shot from the finger blade of my ironic angel I can’t help but be relieved by her presence.

Shallow and transparent ever present villainy permeates and eventually will permanently perverse my prominent personality, rhyme and reason.

Who will I be then? How much time will I spend? How much more glue is there to mend. How many more truths, this is truth No.2

I don’t have the words to say No.1. I don’t want to tell you, even though I know you want to know.

It seems that this is good for me, or so these eclipsing chariots scream so. At least these walls want to keep me safe and warm… I’m not so certain about sane.

The FRIGGIN' AMAZING SKY

Lately I have been noticing how amazingly brilliant and epic the sky has been lately, so of course I caught the sights on digits... by the way all my shots are digital so obviously these sights are not on film, lol. Enjoy!

You write people’s obituaries while they are still alive?

I sang with a tear in my eye, for the first love of my life is about to die.

I sang of a Sunday mourn

I sang of an afternoon wake

I sang of the first dusk without her

I sang of the memories

I sang of joy…

Now…

I sing with tears pouring, for the love of my life has just died

I sing because, my love, it is time to say goodbye.

Detroit City Sky Line

Untitled 1

I want to make up my mind on which way to go.

If I should do what I think is write or should I write all that I think is wrong.

Going in circle my thoughts are a circus.

Univer-souly my life as a whole is on the rocks.

Like Disarono after the clock strikes at midnight.

Sun Rise at Belle Isle Park (2)

PRUDENCE

It’s not fair!
You can’t put the weight on me
And tell me not to speak
You can’t involve me
Then expect me to veneer a child like resolve.
It’s too late
You can’t want me to do for you
And you not listen to me

Way you see it picking you is my new dirty job
I can’t even retort in debate
Or change the pace when were both running late
But I can lift you to your feet
And I can confront the aunt who falsely quit the need of a needle
And the want of a nail

WHAT THE HELL?

Nail me to cross if you feel I’m no longer absolved
But don’t get me involved
If my work won’t help to solve
The dilemma of all involved

Sun Rise at Belle Isle Park (1)

My Bad

Oh my god, I'm so sorry... I did not realize that the posts had run out, I have the post set to auto update and I have been uber busy this week so I promise tomorrow morning you will have a new and I will make sure I have at least a months worth of post coming down the tubes... My Bad

R.Jay

On The Train 2

On The Train 1

This next series is a set that I shot on the Wolverine on my way home for the last time. They are cool, I like them a lot. Comment and tell me what you think.

Fotos of a Random Nature