Where
Are
YOU!?
You let me
And now I feel
Like a scat queen
And now your halo shines bright
And now I’m shadowed by your light
And now you liar have become my sire?
Who
Are
You!?
You seduced me
And now I feel
Like a scat queen
And now you’re gold
And every once of my being is scarlet and cold
And every lie you tell encases you in own
Personal
Prison Cell
Is it lonely on your pedestal?
Are you and your deeds happy to see?
Justice
Finally
In fruition
I woke up this morning hating the world
Frowning at a smile
Punching at a hug
Kicking the day flat on its ass
Wrestling happiness into submission
Killing all who threatened my paradise lost
I’m stranded out here
My home is nowhere near
It never does rain when you ask it to
I wish I didn’t have to call you
But you’re the only one I have to turn to
My sister told me you got your self a job
My mother said you’ve got a new house
I understand you have somebody
Keeping your company
I guess your doing good for yourself
When it was all over
When the silence fell
I realized how badly my plans had failed
It never does rain when you ask it to
I thought I was better than you
But you sure showed me
Little Tony told me to say “hi” to you
There’s nothing I can say
That can change the way
I hurt you
The only truths
Where lies in whisper
It tore me apart
It never did rain when I asked it to
If I could change
My point of opinion
Would we get along
Would there finally be
An end to this feud
Can there ever be a solution
Because we need a resolution
If I could tell you
Everything you want to hear
And have it he true
Would you
Could you
Get that chip off your shoulder
Can there ever be a solution
Because we need a resolution
Pulling my hair from root
Trying to find the root
Of my behaviors
Attention grabbing in their splendor
Trying to get some recognition
Of my existence
Trying to get an explanation
As to why
Trying to get a moment
Of your time
Trying to explain to myself
Why no one cares that I exist
Birthday’s come without a call
But wait…
Wasn’t it only I who helped you from your fall
Tradition decimated
Only hope left
Hope that which each passing day
Sings “Happy trails to you, goodbye my friend”
Their optimism sickens me
My trails have never been happy
My trails never will be happy
This line of life stretches into infinity
Infinite wisdom
Infinite pain
If life’s a bitch
Infinity is the Queen Bee
Whose poison I ingest
Like a sweet nectar of life
Tearing me apart
A puzzle never to be finished
Because I’m missing a piece
Of you, which I need to succeed
Giving me the motivation
To stay on track
To straighten up and fly right
The drive to get me from point “A” to the finish line
Even though I whine
Trying to peel your eyes from the screen
There is no need to do me like a two dollar hoe
On my way out the door
I want to be recognized as
The man in your life
The love your world centers around
The part of your heart that is not jaded and cold
Love me…
Please…
I’m begging you…
Love me…
Pay attention to me…
Please…
Please love me…
At some point in life we as maturing humans decide who we want to be, the image we want to portray. At age 1 I decided I wanted to be anything but ordinary and since then it has been an up hill battle within my self to figure out what that meant to me and also how to display that on my person. Now at 17 I am finally beginning to see that person immerge. The immergence of this person is simply no more than inexplicable sudden loses of inhibitions during which I change something physical about myself. As of now I have changed my hair, got new clothes, taught myself a new way to talk and found a new way to think. This new person is fundamentally different from who I was in yester year. He is actually really cool. He is confident and secure with himself; he knows what he wants and is ambitious enough to go for it no matter what the cost. For right now I am content within this stage of my transformation, but you never know if tomorrow it that may change.
I want to kill someone so badly
I want to die
I want to cry
I want to feel
I want to go away
I want you to go away from me
I want to feel
I want to want
I want to feel the need to drop to my knees and plead for your forgiveness
I want to feel
I want you to go away from me
I want you to make me feel good
I want you to make me feel bad
I want you to make me more than this
I want more than this
I want not to want this
I want to not want you
