Jay's Journal September 6, 2008.

Everybody has something that they fell insecure about. Everyone. Most people would not ever admit that they even sometimes feel ashamed of something about themselves... I am not most people. For me it's my weight. 99% of the time I don't even recognize my weight because it's such a non-issue. Like me being black, gay, or having a crippling phobia of spiders. However there time like last week when I had sat on the floor in the hallway of my next class, and when it was time to get up I knew in my head that my knees where no feeling well that day. I knew that it meant that I would have slightly more difficult time getting up than normal. I had a knee injury in the 9th grade that has just fucked my knees for life. Me being morbidly obese of course didn't help in the healing process. Everybody I know, knows about my injury so when I am around them and I need to have a seat it's again a non-issue, but when I am alone and in the company of people who only see my big fat ass struggling to get up I do feel really insecure. I get embarrassed. During this particular indecent I even sat there looking like a blob and waited to the hallway was clear so that I could get up and wince and struggle in private. I know that I must've looked like a idiot sitting there curled withing myself waiting for my great escape. But I have pride and in a place where I don't really know anyone it is just not in me to let myself be vulnerable. I know that not everyone out to get me but... I don't know. By the way I do not mean to be sounding down on myself as International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day is April 15th so we'll wait until then...

I'm here...

Yeah I'm so tired! But I am all moved in... However I forgot to bring my CLOTHES AND TV!!! I'm so bored, I actually had to get dressed and leave me apartment to ,ix with each other this is ridiculous. *sigh* this school year is getting off to a AWESOME start, lol.

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

Today is THE day...

Soon...

In a matter of hours I'll be moving back to Ypsilanti. It has been interesting to say the least to set this up but luckily a friend of mine was able to help me out. So everything really is set. I'm all packed up, got my move in appointment... Let us see how this goes. I'll update once I am moved in.

L8r

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

1 Day...

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

2 Days...

Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams

Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is Solange Knowles' sophomore album released August 26, 2008. It is a wide departure from her horrible debut ironically (though she didn't seem to know) titled debut Solo Star. As you can see she really likes her name. To put it plainly Solange Presents: Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams is a rare album in today's music space. It is an album that actually shows depth and growth from a singer that once was a shallow and pointless act to a artist that has experienced somethings in their life and has somethings to say not related to "love" but Love and Life.

The first single from the album "I decided" is a hot tune in the vein of 60's and 70's Popular R&B Soul and Funk. I was very surprised that she had made it, because I had written her off as a wanna be like Brooke Hogan. I was even more surprised that the whole of the album carries that same sound, I was sure that it was a fluke... it wasn't. Now I just got the album and on first listen it is a very solid album. I'm not wowed but it is a first listen and I'm getting used to the sound of it, besides the sound from my laptop's speakers are just garbage so I may be wowed when I can pump it up on my trusty stereo. I will say that I enjoy the fact that she chose to forgo the use of electronic instruments but instead used real instruments for the beats. To get the sound she was going after she Solange worked with producers such as Pharell Williams, Raphael Saadiq, and Mark Ronson and also working with Boards of Canada, Jack Splash, Bama Boyz, Shea Taylor, Marsha Ambrosius of Floetry.



I will also say that I do like the fact that she is portraying the image of the album in everything she has done as of late. In very Madonna style she is keeping the image together every image that you I have seen of her since the launch of the first single has been very put together very period specific and very much a quality representation of the sound and style of music. Mathew Knowles clearly knows what he is doing. Solange may in fact end up being a "Solo Star" after all.

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

3 Days...

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

4 Days...

THE FIIINAAAL COOOUNTDOOOWN

5 Days...

Untitled Razzy Rant

I hate the JONAS BROTHERS. Ok I get it every generation needs their vaguely talented music acts that they then can idolize and wax poetic about into their last days while complaining that today's music is just not as good as when you where a kid. but serious why them, they sound like they are going through puberty on stage. Then they come with that whole virginal routine which is so tired. I will say that before they became uber popular their sound was funkier and I liked it. It had more soul as they are partly Latino. This new shit is pop garbage. I think I just don't like the Disney kids. Selena Gomez, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana, Corbin Bleu, Cheetah Girls they are all products and will have a expiration date, unless they eventually become good artist in their own right. There are exceptions to this like Hilary Duff, Ashley Tisdale has one song I like, even the brothers Jonas have that song Year 3003 that is on my iPod right not so. I just wish that adults did not care so much about these 12yr old celebrities.

Another night.

So it is the middle of the night again and I am up so very up. It is 5am and I am so bored. I have resorted to watching home movies. Which is actually not so bad but it holds a peculiar feeling to wax reminiscent of this that has only passed like 8 months ago as I have only had my camera for about that long. I'm remembering things that I had so forgotten. I guess it's good to see things in full color video, well in my case most things are in black and white that I shoot. One day when I'm like 40 and me and my remaining friends will sit down and watch these videos and laugh. We could probably do that now. This one I'm watching now if from when I moved back home from school for the summer in April. It is this loooooong video recording a conversation I had with a bunch of my friends in the moving van I rented. It's like 30 min of random pointless conversation, but looking back at it it seems to be of more importance. Do you feel like that sometimes, looking back? That things are much more significance once time has passed. I wonder why it becomes easier be fond over things that aren't here anymore. Why does time erode our normal jaded sensibilities and makes all dough eyed over waves of light that represent the thing that me actually miss. I'm not sure which cliche goes best with this sensational phenomenon; "hindsight is 50/50", "time always makes the heart grow fonder", "you don't know what you've got til it's gone" (Thank you Joni Mitchel and later Janet Jackson and even later The Counting Crows featuring Vanessa Carlton). Either way they always seem to fit somewhere. Guess all those adages seem to make sense in, ehm... hindsight.

Tiana

I know that you that I know you know better
But he calls you and asks you to come over
Brash and unrestricted
Like he never abandoned you
Like that woman wasn’t his before he wasn’t yours
And you smile
Bat the lashes
Reply back
And think again that this time will better
I know that you that I know that this time won’t be better
But you can’t help that your past keeps invading your present
And he won’t leave or remove himself from your presence
Without care the winds bring him back
And you consider taking him back
But like the breeze very soon he up and leaves
You find that he’s not only stolen your heart
but also your sleeve
And that leaves you naked and wanting
And waiting for him
But the forecast is grim
Only for you
There’s sunshine for him.

Randy

I don’t know why I even bother
I know that for me 11 years of servicing him is more
I call
And I know that even if he calls me back
I’ll be some foreign after thought
Some 3am wind down after the club
Or some midnight pre club ramp up
He always smells of cheap liquor and cigarette smoke either way so I never know
I’m not an idiot
And I know that I like it
But I feel guilty when he’s gone
And the only gift he left was his semen dancing in my stomach
Or the random pubic hair that got caught in between my teeth
Or the cooler smother section of my face where his ejaculated used to be
I know it’s sad but those thing fulfill me
So I call him
Knowing that to him, I am just another hole
That I’m just another mouth feed
That I’m just another one of the ones on the list
The never ending list of the bodies left cold in the trail
I wonder if he ever gets annoyed that this zombie just won’t die

HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA back young people!

How many times can I say it icka bicka ba boosha! I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back. I got camera back. I got my camera back.

OMG I finally got it back! It works perfectly though just like if you replace your engine or transmission on a car it never works quite the same. There is some lag with the shutter but I will have to use it for a bit to see if it in fact needs to go back to SONY... again hopefully not. I will be giving you guys or rather person new shots asap.

Smooches
Jay

Adele - 19 (2008)

Those of you who know me know that right now Adele is the truth. She hails form London, UK as she likes to say. I found her on VH1's you oughta know series about five months ago and every since I have not stopped listening. Her voice is so pure it's frightening. She is one of the only acts that I have seen in many years that sounds better live than recorded (save Natasha Beddingfield). I should also add that all of her recorded tracks are recorded in one pass. She does not have backing tracks or studio aided vocals, so what you get is what is real and what you can expect if your shelling out 30 bucks for a ticket to a live performance. I should also add that she writes all her own stuff and plays the guitar among with other instruments that accompany her vocal talents.Adele's debut album 19 is genius. I had originally downloaded the album through limewire with the intention on buying it if the album was as good as the lead single "Chasing Pavements", which is phenomenal, this song even pour from the dreary 4th rate speakers that are built into my television. It has very little by way of instrumentation but as you may have inferred by now Adele's voice needs no help to make a great song. As far as the rest of the album let's just say that out of the 17 tracks on the 2 disc special edition 14 are rated at 4 or more stars in my iTunes library and have a combined total of 987 plays, 240 of which are just "Chasing Pavements" making it easily my number one played and highest rated song since I have started keeping track in 2005 and probably second all time next to Garbage's "The World is not Enough". Which I listened to on repeat for 9 days straight back in my Junior year in high school.

The most stand out tracks on the album are (in order) "Chasing Pavements", "Right as Rain", "Melt my Heart to Stone", "My Same" and "Best for Last". I purposefully neglected to add "Cold Shoulder" to this list because though I love it I dont know if it has staying power just yet, but we shall see.

Chasing Pavements


Right as Rain



I sincerely encourage you to visit YouTube and check out some her live performances and also you can hear her whole album on various videos. I have included a link to a few of my favorties please take a moment, listen, and discover the future of music... Adele Adkins

Finally

Sony has shipped out my camera back to me! Only a matter of time now!

An Update

I talked with Sony today and they are JUST NOW FIXING my camera, I believe they will be giving me a different camera/model, so you know what that means... I will have to play with it so that means lots of new fotos!!! Yay well anyways, I have be so creatively strapped as thing have been going well for me and I don't write when I'm happy, plus my camera has been in the hospital and I still haven't found a way to scan my paintings, which i also have stopped doing, into the computer. Also when i do get back in the groove of things I will be changing the frequency with which I update, daily is just too often but weekly is just too distant so maybe everyother day, we will see.

Jay

Royal Oak

Tragedy

My camera is dead. That is so dramatic lol, but in all seriousness it died and is out for repair or (gasp) replacement... I will know in a week or so and will keep you guys updated or rather guy cause there is only like 1 reader but that one person is AWESOME!!! I will find some poetry to put in the mean time ttyl.