In the meantime...

So since everything happened I have been occupying my time with things and stuff. Mainly reorganizing my music collection but also redecorating my apt. My bathroom has been done for a while and it looks pretty similar to what it was before but now it has new rugs and accessories. But my bed room was just fugs. So now it's major smexi! Take a look.

200 Words of Opposition

You where my eyes fixed point center of gravity orbiting and swirling down the vacuous drain to places he would drag you away from me slowly running away walking backwards tripping forwards and steady farther away closer but never closer closure nuance and ineptitude narrowly negotiation newly sour section of dowry and damnations defending the circular serendipitous nature sensibly guided forward steadily backward rag dolls toads and frogs rabbits and hares heads or tail without chance change challenge or chapters fade mixed marital law logs loved layered and lowered one here two now three here four gone here sad gone long mourning this morning eve of evening dining with dingy dives cannons and capitols of coercion ending all stock and dystopian utopian pairs of solidarity and despair dispelling procreations problem creations motivations mulling nations moving more over the delicate suspensions suspend supposedly in memoriam never minding the offending natural movements of the shadowy figures moving forward the peaces disturbing the pieces in places their arms dare only reach randomly to destroy decimate and decapitate the fluid stagnancy unaltered aborted as times where before the hiccup stickup power play nay say now and never ever forever and always today’s forgotten lore.

I told the truth today...

Misty: hey
Jerome: hey
Misty: Why didn't you hang with Elayna today?
Jerome: I have work to do
Misty: You were isolated
oh.
ha ha
I asked her to talk to Ieuan for me...
Jerome: im still working just taking a break
oh ok
Misty: and she was telling him that I like him soooooooo much.
Jerome: to tell him what?
Misty: WTF
No just to see if he liked me
Jerome: oh, y didnt u ask?
Misty: cuz I didn't have the balls to get my feelings hurt
Jerome: lol, so howd it turn out
Misty: bad.
3:10amJerome: too bad
3:10amMisty: He doesn't like me
3:10amJerome: whatd he say
3:10amMisty: she says
3:10amJerome: oh ok
well, sorry
3:10amMisty: that it was a mistakes
yeah yeah
I should go lez
3:11amJerome: lol, i doubt u could
3:11amMisty: maybe not. But the only people to think I'm attractive are gay men and females
3:11amJerome:eh, what can u do?
Im single now too
so no worries
3:12amMisty: yeah but you okay with it
3:12amJerome: ...not really
I am not used to not having people hit on me
it's a new phenomenom
3:13amMisty

gr
3:13amJerome

gr?
3:14amMisty

I'm kinna pissed but I expected this
3:15amJerome

well you seem to have good instincts so why dont u follow them?
3:16amMisty

cuz I'm not a cold person...yet
3:16amJerome

well thats good
3:17amMisty

Some just give up because they fail

I guess I'm not like that
3:17amJerome

thats good
3:17amMisty

which can be a strength or weakness
3:17amJerome

youre too young for my kind of cynascism
3:17amMisty

But I wanna be cold like you!!
3:17amJerome

it's not all it's cracked up to be

like when you say youre fst, but then elayna would kill to look like you

be grateul for what you have

my world is kinda lonely sometimes

fat*
3:19amMisty

But you don't seem to care!

That's the beauty
3:19amJerome

I do care...
3:20amMisty

er...
3:20amJerome

trust me when I say this

Stay hopeul as long as you can, I gave up my emotions years ago and I am better in many ways, but I would die to understand the emotions that I used to have again
3:22amMisty

What? Pain and having your feelings hurt all the time?

No way
3:22amJerome

yes
3:22amMisty

Emotions are a waste
3:22amJerome

emotions let you know youre alive
3:23amMisty

sooo?
3:24amJerome

whats the point in living if you cant feel alive
3:24amMisty

You won't have to cry or feel that yucky feeling in your chest...

or that pain when you;re trying to hild back tears
3:24amJerome

I cry everyday

I stare at the ceiling and cry for no reason

I blast my music so loud, so I dont have to hear myself thing

So I dont have to wake up and realize that my life is just a broadway show with great musical numbers that no one understands
3:26amMisty

not true
3:26amJerome

trust me, I have never been more honest in my life

It hurts to be so honest

I mean physically, my head is pounding
3:27amMisty

I'm sorry..
3:27amJerome

THis happens whenever I try to understand or deal with what I cant understand

Dont feel sorry for me, but dont envy me either
3:28amMisty

I didn't mean to bring up something so deep
3:29amJerome

not youre fault I can always stop, or not start

Who Knew (A Poem)

I think it's strange that I can still relive everything about you
That at a moments notice I can be whisped away to memories of days when you still held me
When I could have never believed that in a few years you would go away

Who knew that you would disappear
Who knew I would watch as you slowly drove away for the last time

Sometimes when I am alone, I still mourn
For us, for me, for you
For what we could have been
For who I could have been with you
For what you have become without me

It is during those times that what separates us seems trivial
But I always get lost in pursuit
Of the one that got away
The only one I will ever want to have stayed

Guilty till proven Guilty

Today I told a friend the truth, and she cried. I felt bad and lied, and she smiled. Now I wonder if I should have left her to cry... Because the smile makes me feel worse. Knowing that in a matter of hour the cards will come tumbling, was worse than knowing she didn't know it was coming.

Music Discovery

As of late I have been in music discovery mode, I think I have added about 500+ new songs to my Library. I like this new mode I am finding myself in. In truth it is in part thanks to one of my new friends(?), William, he is strictly into old school rock, blues and jazz. It is weird that one of my most open minded periods comes via such a narrow person. So I will start off my recap of new music with a classic group... QUEEN. I got my hands on their whole discography and found out that I knew a few songs from them, mostly through adverts, and I actually like them. I have gotten a list together of my favorite songs by them, check it out.

(In No Particular Order)
I Want To Break Free
Another One Bites The Dust
Fat Bottom Girls
You're My Best Friend
Don't Stop Me Now
We Are The Champions
I Want It All
Who Wants To Live Forever
Headlong

And then there are the two that I have fallen in love with, and will now and as far as I can see have on my absolute favorites list.

We Will Rock You - This simple beat feeds my soul!
Under Pressure - Genius, definitely a top 20 of all timer.

No More Mr Nice Gay!

I have nothing to say about Proposition 8's passing, except that you can expect no more Mr. Nice Gay. I will not stand by and continue to use my wisdom to save the crumbling relationships of my heterosexual counterparts if they are going to turn around and rule that my relationship has no validity. I will not continue to smile and be the archetype stereotype of the person you expect me to be. I will frown and my rainbow glow brighter and I will fight back. Just know that this is war and it will be fierce!

Sarah Palin Remixed

I hate her so much.

I can't even begin to resolve how hurt I am by this.

Why are people so evil?

Chasing Pavements

...I basically ran after a car yesterday hoping that they would stop and ask me to hang out... Let me explain. I was hanging out last night with some people that I met at my schools arcade. When they left I was had no reason to stay so I just check out and left. While I was walking back to my apt I saw said people walking to the car going to their apartment to veg for a bit. So for some reason I walked a little faster getting ahead of them, they hadn't pulled out yet, so they would notice me and possibly suggest I come with them. They didn't. I felt kinda odd about it, like am I that desperate for friends? Or am I just positioning myself like how commercials and press coverage position products for purchase. Not to suggest that I whoring myself out, that is for another post. It is just interesting to see the things that I do make people notice me, everything except actually introducing myself...

Blind Secret

I let someone get left on the side of the road alone at 12am on a Sunday night with no money and noway to get home... To write an apology would be disingenuous. As she should not have brought her ass out without any if those things, but it was just more vicious than I'm used to. I hate when things like that happen to people because I know that it could easily happen to me at any moment. I am always on the rim of the IN crowd teetering until a conflict forces me out or I find a way to weasel myself in.

Racism Is Not Dead... Sadly

By Hussein he is referring to Barack Hussein Obama... Seriously...

Conservatives are retards...

Birthday Report.

Detroit was a snowy place last Saturday, though it was the warmest night I'd seen. It was lonely I will admit but eventually I came to and was surrounded with costumed villains willing to serve my every passing false hedonistic need. For some reason there are invisible hands fondling me, and through this haze I can barely see. I can see enough to know that I better not touch the floor for fear I many never recover. I came here with somebody, I think.... What is this abhorrent taste trickling slowly lingering down my throat. Where is my shoe. This massive throbbing box is emmitting music that is sonically forcibly raping my ears, and I adore it. Black. Again with the fondling though the hands seem clearer. This is ending soon, I can tell as the music has slowed to a syrupy sultry crawl back to it's source. The well hath run dry and the gate keeps scream billow beckon and yell that the world is coming to an end, nobody seems to listen. The unlikely snow is falling once more as I head wildly north. The storm missed me somehow. As I find warmth is the soft known comforts the life has afforded, I understand and appreciate what is about to happen...

advanced Loading... "Ooh Girl!" - An Honest R&B Song

Downtown Ypsilanti

Here are some pics from my latest set.

Quote

I have so much to say and no one to say it to, and you don't wanna listen?
-Erik Rhodes

Quote

"How the fuck am i ever gonna meet new people if i don't throw myself out there? Then i think, if i do go out I'll just have to get so fucked up to handle being around people, that I'm not gonna meet anyone new if the first place cause I'll just be the fucked up porn star in the corner that people look at and point at and don't want anything to do with. Thanks but no thanks. The discomfort of being alone is much easier to manage than that."
-Erik Rhodes

Night Life (photograpy)

Crash

My hands are frozen
Trying to string together two words, has never been as frigid as this
Something is amiss
My body feels like it been spoiled in piss
Like I’m a willing partner in an S&M flick

This is bullshit that I have to feel this way
This is bullshit that she always does this to me
I thought the flame was smothered
The embers lay emboldened
Emblazoned and brazen waiting for a spark

What it got was a match
Though a time bomb it was not
Every word still hurt
Every work unspoken leaves our relation tattered and broken
And frayed and dismayed in ways repairs could take days

Weeks, months, years this continues
I think I’m going to need the wine menu
‘Cause this ain’t it
It’s not getting it
It’s not working

I’m hungry for a revolution
A resolution a grievances
‘Cause my resolve is waning
And my endurance is tanking

And I got to deal
With this raw deal I’ve been dealt
I can’t keep waiting for the for the googolplex clock to stop
I can’t keep wait for the second ball to drop